What I’m learning about discipling my kids
Our family attends church every week. Every Sunday at 9 a.m., you will see the Devich family rolling in (maybe a little late if the baby has had a diaper blowout as we’re leaving the house). My kids participate in the children’s ministry where they are getting messaging that is applicable to their age. They love Sunday mornings at our church.
Additionally, my kids attend a Christian school where “Jesus time” is a part of their curriculum. As a family, we say grace before dinner and we do our prayers before bedtime. Boom. I should have it made as far as teaching my kids about Jesus, right? They’re hearing about him at church. They’re hearing about him at school five days a week—check, check. But are they really learning how to know him? That’s the question I’ve had to ask myself recently.
Growing up, my family went to church every week as well. I attended Sunday school and youth group when I was older. As a family, though, we didn’t do much as far as Bible study at home. Don’t get me wrong, my parents set a foundation for me, but it wasn’t until I was in my 20’s that I actually opened the Word of God for myself. I would say I don’t feel like I truly knew who God was until I started digging into the Bible as an adult. And so, as I’m now into my 30’s and navigating life with three children, I’m learning what discipling my kids looks like. Not just taking them to church 52 Sundays a year, and not just leaving it up to their Christian school.
No. Me. (And my husband, of course. I’m not doing this all on my own.)
Here’s what I’m learning:
Modeling my faith is the most important thing.
I could talk at my kids until I’m blue in the face about scripture and how to love like Jesus, but if I’m not doing it myself, those words are empty. They hold no meaning to them. They’ll think I’m a hypocrite if I’m not living out what I preach. I want my kids to see me reading my Bible every day. I want to pray with them and over them, so they see the power of their mother’s prayers. I want to ensure they see Mom doing the work of following Jesus—of bringing his kingdom down here in my own home and city.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
We’ve tried reading devotionals and Scripture memory verses and let me tell you, it sometimes can get interesting. They space out or get distracted. They’ll ask some questions but totally miss the meaning. They’ll be bouncing off the chairs as I’m trying to read to them. (For context, they are only 6, 4, and 1 years old.) They are young and if I can’t expect them all to sit still for a family portrait easily, well then, family Bible time may be a little chaotic too. And that’s okay. They’re still hearing bits and pieces. They’re still learning to hide God’s Word in their hearts. Family Bible time may not look perfect at this young stage we’re in, but that doesn’t mean I just give up. Make the effort. Put a kid’s Bible podcast on in the car to make it fun (Christian Parenting has a ton of great kid’s podcasts!). Read the kid’s devotional but stop and ask questions to get them engaged. Keep trying and keep showing them what it looks like to dig into God’s Word.
It doesn’t have to be structured.
Yes, we can have a dedicated family Jesus time built in to our routine, but a lot of the time, the unplanned conversations can be the most impactful. The sporadic conversation prompted by a kid can go a long way. The question asked by a curious toddler can spark a biblical application just by talking about things as their little minds wonder. As it says in Deuteronomy, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV and I added emphasis). Talking about the Bible in the car as you’re on the way to school. Talking about Jesus right before bed as we say our nighttime prayers. Talking about how God forgives us for our sins when Mommy messes up and asks for forgiveness from the kids—showing them that Mommy needs grace too. That’s impressing God on their hearts.
That’s discipling your kids in your everyday life.
Consider a few extra resources:
