Motherhood: An imperfectly beautiful dance
My husband and I recently took a private dance lesson. I planned his birthday weekend, and he requested that it all be a surprise. I pondered what might be a fun activity we hadn’t previously experienced. So clearly . . . I booked a private dance lesson.
When we arrived at the studio, it quickly became clear that dance lessons were not on his bucket list. He gently teased: “This must be your birthday weekend. What a thoughtful activity.”
But the class was a blast. We laughed. We tripped. We learned something new. It’s a memory we won’t soon forget.
To fall in love with the art of dance
Our lesson began with a basic repetition. For the female, three steps back, three steps forward, finish with a twirl. We had to practice several (meaning many) times before we really got it down. Hi, my family calls me calamity Claire.
But as I let my body move to the cadence of the push and pull of my husband, as my steps fell into the rhythmic beat of the music, a certain peace washed over me. A degree of surrender encompassed me. And I fell in love with the art of dance.
You are exactly who you are meant to be
Motherhood is a bit like learning to dance.
As mothers, we are pushed, pulled, twirled and called to follow. We trip, we stumble, and our toes get jammed and stepped on. And while so much of it can be physically, mentally, and emotionally painful, we keep going.
Three steps back and we lose a bit of ourselves. Our minds are bleary. Our hair is mussed. Our bodies fatigued.
Three steps forward and we pick up a piece of who we once were, a piece we lost in the trenches of it all. We re-discover our moxie. We take up that hobby that brought us so much joy. We find a new passion that sets our souls afire.
Then, a twirl that reminds us that we are exactly who we’ve always been. Our bellies might carry the marks that come with the creation of life. Our hair may now shine with the color of wisdom. The lines on our faces perhaps capture the smiles, laughter, and tears that we’ve shed. But really, we’re still exactly who we were, exactly who we are, exactly who we were always called to be.
The pieces of me are not lost
I am, and always have been, Claire Elizabeth. I am a child of the King. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a friend and neighbor. I am a sister. I am a writer. I am my parent’s little girl.
I love to create beautiful things with my hands. I live for a blood-pumping workout. I am stopped in my tracks every time my husband looks at me in a particular way.
My soul longs to travel and explore. It craves the tastes and experiences from the cultures of others. My heart wants to pour into ministries for Christ’s discipleship. And none of these things are forever lost. They might have been pushed down for a moment, while I caught my breath after giving birth to a sweet, wild manchild, followed by the growth and birth of his twin siblings, twenty-one months later.
But they are not lost.
Turn your face upward and trust
Hear me on this: no matter what season of motherhood you are facing, you are exactly who you are meant to be. If you feel lost, if you feel lonely, if you feel unsure of who you are at this very moment, take a breath, sweet friend.
Surrender to the craziness of raising human beings, and turn your face upward. Let his light lead you. Take three steps back and then be pulled forward. Twirl around. Know that you are seen, you are loved, you are cherished and adored.
When I let life lead me, anchored in Christ, I found that there is even more joy to be had in the chaos.
Mama, let’s dance. Let’s surrender to the rhythms of life, while realizing that gracefully flowing with the tides of motherhood doesn’t change who we are. Sometimes we will be led to take three steps backward, but the three steps forward are always just around the corner.
The dance itself won’t be easy. It won’t come without missteps and mistakes. But it will always be imperfectly beautiful.
Trust and know: You can do hard things!
