Understanding Blocked Care with Lisa C. Qualls

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by Tanner Olson. Tanner said when he went to college he knew he was picking a major where he would end up poor and it was a matter of how. He bounced around until finally landing on spoken word poetry and writing. Today, he performs his spoken word poetry with friends who play music, in an effort to communicate Gods heart to the listening ears. Tanner is also the proud father of his adopted son, Judah. 

Together, we explore grief, adoption, and the power of prayer. Tanner shares his personal journey through infertility, leading to the adoption of his son. They discuss the importance of storytelling and how words can heal, as well as the significance of teaching children to pray. Tanner introduces his new children's book, 'All the Things I Say to God,' which aims to help families facilitate conversations about prayer and faith. Our discussion emphasizes the complexities of emotions in the face of grief and the beauty of trusting in God's timing. 

Here are a few takeaways: 

• Prayer can be a simple, honest conversation with God.
• Grief can be a powerful teacher in faith.
• Children can learn to pray anytime, anywhere.
• Storytelling can heal and connect us.
• Adoption brings both joy and challenges.
• It's okay to hold multiple emotions at once.
• God's timing is perfect, even when it feels late.

Get your copy of All the Things I Say to God https://www.amazon.com/All-Things-Say-God-Learning/dp/0310165954 

Tanners website https://www.writtentospeak.com/ 

Follow him on Instagram @writtentospeak 

Christian Parentings Faith Centered Gift Guide: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/gifts/ 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast!

I am joined by Terri Marcroft. Terri Marcroft is an adoptive mom, author, and adoption advocate who works hard spreading the word on adoption through Unplanned Good. In 2008 Terri identified the need to more actively suggest adoption: today only 1% of young US women facing unplanned pregnancy choose adoption for their babies, while there are almost two million couples in the US hoping to adopt. After ten gratifying years of parenthood and twenty-five in high tech marketing & communications, Terri founded Unplanned Good in 2010. Terri leads the Unplanned Good efforts to encourage young women facing unwanted pregnancy to consider making an adoption plan.

In our conversation, we explain what open adoption is, why it's so beneficial for everyone: birth-parents, babies, and the adoptive family. Terri also highlights the importance of education on this topic, spreading awareness, and how people can be involved in their local communities because 1 in 4 girls will have an unplanned pregnancy from ages 14 to 20. That means this is happening in your communityit could be next door. With so many babies needing homes and so many homes wanting babies, it is imperative that we as the Church work to bring these two together.

Here are a few takeaways:

Less than 1% of women facing unplanned pregnancies choose adoption.

Open adoption allows birth mothers to make informed choices.

Transparency in adoption benefits everyone involved.

Community support is crucial for women facing unplanned pregnancies.

Education about adoption can change societal perceptions.

Legislative advocacy can improve adoption processes.

Encouraging open conversations about adoption is essential.

Adoption is a loving choice, not a loss.

Learn more about Unplanned Good: https://www.unplannedgood.org/

Christian Parentings Faith Centered Gift Guide: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/gifts/

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined by Kimberly Dubose. Kimberly is a Family Centered Therapy Clinical Caseworker with Connected Families. She shares her expertise on managing challenging behaviors in children, particularly those who have experienced trauma. She emphasizes the importance of caregivers in modeling self-regulation and establishing healthy boundaries. Our discussion covers practical tools for emotional regulation, the significance of resilience in children, and the need for open communication about emotions. Kimberly also addresses the complexities of anger management and the role of community support in caregiving. Ultimately, she offers you encouragement and reminds you of the vital work you do and the importance of seeking help when needed.

Here are a few takeaways: 

• Healthy authority is essential for building trust and connection.
• Children can be very resilient when provided with consistent support.
• Practicing regulation techniques when calm is more effective.
• Caregivers should model self-regulation for their children.
• Emotional language helps children express their feelings better.
• Anger often masks deeper emotions like sadness.
• Providing options during anger can help de-escalate situations.
• Community support is vital for caregivers.
• Caregivers should give themselves grace and seek help.

Here is the resource Kimberly referenced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTzXFPh6CPI 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined with the amazing author and adoptive mom, Dorian Stewart. Dorian has written the Promise Pals series, which was envisioned when she realized there werent many resources and books out there for adopted kids. Adopted kids are just as much chosen and wanted as biological children, especially since we are all adopted by our Heavenly Father. This is something Dorian and her husband wanted to strongly emphasize with their daughter. In our conversation, we discuss exactly how they enforced positive messaging for their child, how they prayed for their daughters biological family, and how to answer the hard questions their child asks. 

Here are a few takeaways: 

• The journey of adoption can be seen as God's divine blueprint.
• Positive affirmations are crucial for building confidence in children.
• Infusing God's truth into daily life helps children understand their identity.
• Creating safe spaces for children to ask questions is essential.
• Adoption should be framed as a loving choice, not a rejection.

You can learn more and connect with Dorian Stewart on social media and find her books! 

https://www.facebook.com/dorian.mcdonald.90/ 

https://www.instagram.com/de_stewarts/

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dorian-Stewart/author/B08WM36MJP?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share%3Flanguage%3Des&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=0127f328-2b6f-40e9-8dfc-6321bf6506c9 

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! 

In this episode, I am joined with an incredible guest: Lisa C. Qualls. Lisa is the proud mother of both biological and adopted children, twelve in fact, and is an accomplished author, speaker, and Enneagram coach with TBRI training. Together, we focus on the concept of 'blocked care'a self-protective mechanism that can hinder emotional connection between parents and children. 

Lisa shares her personal journey into adoption, the challenges faced, and the development of her ministry aimed at supporting adoptive and foster families. We discuss the neuroscience behind blocked care, signs to recognize it, and the importance of acknowledging these feelings to begin healing and reconnecting with children. Our conversation helps explain the concept of blocked care, its effects on parents, and practical strategies for overcoming it. We discuss the importance of understanding the nervous system, building supportive relationships, and finding hope through simple practices like breath prayer. We emphasize the need for self-care and the significance of recognizing beauty in everyday life as a means to combat feelings of overwhelm and despair. A great and practical technique is YAHWEH breathing, because sometimes we simply dont have words when we are so depleted. 

Here are a few takeaways: 

• Blocked care is a common experience among adoptive parents.
• Parents often feel shame for not feeling the love they expected.
• Acknowledging blocked care is the first step to healing.
• The Connected Child was a pivotal resource for many adoptive parents.
• Parenting children with trauma requires ongoing support and education.
• It's important to find community and resources to navigate the challenges of adoption. 
• Caring for the nervous system is essential for recovery.
• Simple activities like walking can help regulate the nervous system.
• Sleep is crucial for managing stress and blocked care.
• Negativity bias can hinder our ability to see joy and beauty.

You can learn more and connect with Lisa C. Qualls with these resources:

https://www.lisacqualls.com/

https://www.instagram.com/lisacqualls/?hl=en

You can email me your questions about adoption and foster care at [email protected]. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram or send you my monthly newsletter with free resources and first access to episodes and more!